Backed
Well, backed after so many days... miss those who are reading, well, actually miss myself. well, i wasn't feeling very good the past few days. i got back my math results, did not do so well, well, as expected, right? now, i am worrying about my PW... wanted to find someone and tell him/her all the things, well, believe now no one can help me... i have lots of fustration i wanna say out, but no one to listen to... who could help me? can tell me? any stupid hotline, free one please, for students with trouble to talk to? any counselling centre? free one also lar... well, i need them? i am asking myself... i dun wanna be weak, but this is so unfair... well, 3 of my group members not serious, and me? i am dragged down by them... what am i suppose to do? you tell me?
Very unfair, cause you know why? i studied so hard, i dare say, harder than anyone else in 1S19... i did all the tutorials, i did all assignment, i listen during lectures, i studied for test... everything came out flunked... is there a better word for it? no, nothing!!! unfair isn't it? i read an article about Project Work, well, it sucks... people interview, of course interview those with good grades, and the person will of course say somethings, about how they overcome this and that... well, what about us? there are problems not seen by them, those genius... am i a dropout??? i guess i really am... people can go RJC, when they are in orchard everyday... i did not went to orchard for more than 10 times, and i am in SRJC... well, i studied hard for O levels, did my best, tried my best... this is the best i can get??? this is it, it over man... no way anything i do could change it... i wanna be strong, i wanna stand up and overcome the problems i have now, but how??? a person doing 4 people's work??? hahaha, somebody can, but a dropout like me? well, you know the answer yourself ok?
I tried to tell them to do things, but they have no sense of responsibility... i gave them work, they dragged and dragged... now, when i have things to do, only a fool would give them to do, right? they broke the trust between us... broken... well, i dun wish to trust them, but neither do i wish to do all the work alone... you can imagine now, i am here, vending my anger, and they are doing their own things, without any worries... i can't stop imagine what are they doing now... well, i wanted to be like them, dun worry about project work, than what will my PW group be like??? 10%, isn't it too much??? well, if the next year dun have PW, i will burn the whole MOE down... bloodys... gave us PW, no purpose stated, no reasons... well, should they have a hotline to help me??? a dropout??? i am a fei-ren, ok??? a bloody dropout, who had no dreams, everyone hated me... right? i need help... commit suicide is the last thing i will do, but never i say i never did consider it... well, what can i do now? can someone guide me? i will really be grateful... please :)
J wrote a blog @8:13 pm
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